What If I’m a Russian Spy


Agent ID : 8
Nickname : Vladmir Arshavin
Age : Undisclosed
Place of Birth: Moscow, Russia
Raised in : Malaysia
Mother Tongue: Manglish/English. 1/100th Russian
Headquarters: Kremlin Moscow, Russia


A document had been dropped into house of Agent 8. Opened and read the content of the document. Extreme Confidentiality was put, and the mission assigned was rated ASAP! (as soon as possible?) Agent 8, you are hereby under the command of Secret Russian Spy Headquarters in Kremlin had been deported to service the great mother Russia. The nation security had been under scrutiny and needed immediate containment of the problem at hand. A sensational celebrity known as Lady GaGa had been a victim of a suspicious threat to an unknown terrorist attack while performing her Monster Ball concert in U.S.A. She had been cleared healthy and ready to perform in Moscow in part of her absence to World Cup opening concert. It is of great concerned of Russia that you protect the civilian from the dangerous threats from terrorist and the lives of the Russians.
*message self detonate in minutes*

OMG? i'm gonna go and kick terrorist ass to protect GaGa? hahaha. this gonna be the best damn mission of my career. every damn fans are going to know who's the man that saved GaGa's with a telephone call, hello i'm ALEJANDRO , i want to protect you & your bad romance. so just dance :) but how the hell i'm going to get close to her? oh yeah, gotta go to Kremlin headquarters & get a make over.
I've been waiting for you Agent 8, Vladmir Arshavin. i'm going to do a total make over for you to get up close to GaGa and make sure she's in perfect condition. Remember your top priority is to sniff out the threats that the terrorist are posing. & protect the lives of the Russians.
let's operate, anddddd...... walahhhhh. now your one real chick, wait just have to ammend a lot more so you'll be a real feminist.
god, you got big arms. hair's not long enough... several hours later. Yes, let's work on it abit more... now get to your mission and kick some terrorist ass.
hey, mirror? Holy CRAP, that's me? impressive. Now i'm a blonde? memang chun kao kao! *snaps.. speak english girl!!! speak like a girl now....
oh look, i've got a pistol. finally! this mission is definitely for real. Date is 07July2010, 15:00. Lady GaGa scheduled to arrive at anytime in Kremlin Moscow. The crowd just overran the entire street crowding. How the hell i'm gonna find a location to locate the freaking terrorist. Hell No man, this is way too many people around.

Woohooo oh oh, wooo oh oh. caught in a bad jam... GaGa oh LaLa, where ya'll terrorist man.
GaGa had reached, good afternoon GaGa i'm Anjill Jolie. i'll be your tour guide during your stay for your concert. As well, your safety is 100% secured under the an organization responsible for your safety.
Concert begins 2100. Fans are all over the stadium, somethings is really fishy. during the song Alejandro.... i watched tentatively over the stage. the male models could walk in high heels? hell no, that guy just overdo me. i'm not even on high heels, thats tough life for them. WHAT? the lights had just blacked out? don't call my name don't call my name, ALEJANDRO ALEJANDRO. *Lady GaGa shreaked: HELPPPPPPPPPP! ALEJANDRO just let me gooooooooo.....*
BANG BANG. the strong roar from my pistol were heard, and crowd went wild & out of control. security guards were all over the place... GaGa was gone. she was kidnapped by her male dancerssss. they're the evil behind all of the work, all of the threats. NO. i chase and got to the scene, i'm her biggest fan i'll follow her until she loves me PAPARAZZI. at the backstage back up arrived, AGENT 19 reporting. Agent 19 had traced the bad guys. right now, we need to save GAGA i shouted or there'll be no more Pokerface from GaGa. let's make them pay for endangering the lives of Russian & put those guys in RUSSIAN ROULETTE.
BANG BANG. ahhhhh i've got hit...
what? a Dream? did i just went over too much... boring lectures, sucky GaGa. shouldn't dreamt bout you. wanna be a better spy than a sucky one like me? gotta catch SALT.
Premiering in JULY 29.
:)